Got a jones in my bones.

I've got a restless spirit. I'm constantly looking forward to the next thing. How fast can I get through high school? How fast can I get through college? How can I get from point A to point B in the fastest amount of time? And while this can be a bad habit, I like to think of it as a great self-motivation. Always got to look ahead, right?
So, the thought in my head right now, and for a couple of months now, has been whether or not I want to stay at DBU. While the start here was rough (for lack of better words), I'm really loving where I'm at, the friends I've been blessed to make, and how much I've grown in my faith and as a young adult. It's really ridiculous to look at myself from them up until now and be able to see how much I've changed. Even just this semester. I've been keeping a (pretty irregular) journal since the beginning of freshman year, and it's so funny to read about the things I was worried, excited, happy, etc. about and to think how the person I am today laughs about it. Too weird. And it's funny to think just how much I'm going to change over the summer at Pine Cove, and then into the fall and spring semesters. And exciting. I welcome change, though not always what I expect, it's refreshing, especially being one who doesn't like to stay still.Back to the issue at hand, I have been looking into YWAM for a little while now, not even sure if it's a complete idea yet, but it's a definite wish. The problem is-- if I drop out of school now, I'll have to start paying back student loans. Womp womp womp... But the thought of going through two more years (on the fast track of course) of school just doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to have to wait 2 more years to do YWAM, or even if it's not YWAM, but just something else. I know, I know this all sounds vague and just like I'm ready to move onto the next thing, which in a lot of ways I am, but that's where creativity flows from. A favorite quote of mine, that Courtney introduced to me on one of her crafty canvases, is "You don't get creative by staying in the same place." It speaks such truth. I have a jonesing in my bones for something new. And maybe I just have a different life played out for myself and it will be different when I get there, but I'd rather try than sit and wonder. The other options are always: New York, Portland, somewhere in Asia (I'm 50% obsessed with Asian culture since coming to DBU, only 50% bc I've never been there). I'll probably just end up finishing college the boring ol' safe way, but it's fun to dream.Until then...

Newest inspirations:
-Learning how to screen print (DBU is supposedly offering a class in the near future. One point for DBap.)

-One-piece swimsuits. Oh so classy.-Floral and stripes together. How scandalous!

Bottled Emotion

There have been many moments in my life where I wish that I could close my eyes, hold my breath and save a moment. Just pop the feeling into a bottle and squeeze the cork in it to save it. A moment so perfect that you would want to savor it, even just to come back one day and smell the sweet aroma of what it once was. Although we obviously can't do that, there are things that can suddenly take you back to that moment like it's happening; a smell, a song, a feeling. Sometimes I can just be walking down the street and hear a song blasting from some passerby's window and think of a memory that a friend and I had shared through the song, causing a goofy grin and maybe even a laugh, just at the thought. For me, that time that I want to save is summer. In my mind, summer is held in the most glorious light. For one, there's no school. There is an absolute freedom about summer- you get to decide what you want to do- travel, lounge in the sun all day, swim, eat a snow-cone, hang with friends for days upon days, tan skin, the smell of sunscreen. All of it is absolutely lovely. My favorite days are the ones where you swim all day long, eat a sandwich, fruit, and ice cold lemonade for lunch, and then get home and crash from being dog tired. There is something about the sun that just drains you, but those nights are always the most promising for a heavenly slumber. All of the summers of my childhood were spent at Ridglea Pool, a public pool that we were members of. We would spend all day swimming, jumping off the diving boards, and making up ridiculous games that our group of friends would all partake in. My favorite one was the game Categories.

There are a few songs that I always say are emotionally provoking songs, because in a sense, the artist has taken the feelings they were experiencing and bottling them up, and then sharing them, relating them to other people, and letting others have a taste of what they were feeling. Songs with strings always cause my heart to stir. Sometimes the song could even be about a boy riding in a bike, and I would think, "Hmm, this song is so sad. It makes me want to cry." Courtney and I always joke that a well orchestrated song could change the lyrics and it'd be just as beautiful. So, we like to change the lyrics to some of our favorite songs. It's funny.

Here's a song that's not only beautifully composed, but has wonderful lyrics. Download it, put it on your iPod, turn it on in your car, and drive. If you don't feel something, you many want to listen again. It's too sweet for words.



The song just makes me feel the love that the man sung about for his wife and family. It makes me step back and think about my family and the tremendous love that I have for them, and of course like any girl, makes me hope for a man that sweet and a love that unconditional. It's just full of life, and seasons, and changing, but the constant love that remains, and the happiness that comes from that kind of love. Simply said, it's beautiful. And it makes you remember how capable we are to love and to receive love.
I feel like this season of my life is an especially sentimental one. Moving from home to college, even though just a short 45 minute drive, has proven to be challenging and has put me in situations that have changed me, mostly for the good. Although it's expected that you'll change while in college, no one can prepare you for the change. It takes a toll on your relationships, whether family or friends. It's a trying time and you realize that good relationships take time and effort. You have to work for what you love. It's also made me appreciate the relationships that I do have. It's easy to take someone's friendship for granted when you see them nearly everyday, but like the saying goes, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder",whether that's distance in length of time or miles. It can be difficult to want to love someone and to want to put forth effort when it's tough or different than it used to be. But we were created to have relationships. We were created to love and to be loved. You just have to choose to make it work.

Today, i am choosing to remember to love.